when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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