Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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