HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
