I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
