My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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