That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize