Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Its about making memories worth repressing
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
