I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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