I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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