i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
