Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
