is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
