ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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