Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
