Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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