I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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