If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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