I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
