he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
