I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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