meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
