I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize