dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
