its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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