she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
