My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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