Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
