I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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