My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
