Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
