yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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