where does the pee come out of this thing
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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