so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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