She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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