you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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