Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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