Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.