i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job