My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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