ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
