chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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