bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize