I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
