Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
