I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
