Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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