drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
