Whod you bang
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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