And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
