i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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