D3 body, D1 cock
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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