you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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