Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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