We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
