party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
