fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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