I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
